Losing weight is hard enough for people without eating disorders. But how hard is it for those who just cannot stop eating? And what is food addiction?
Food addiction has many faces. Just like alcoholism, the symptoms are not the same in everyone. Some people can't stop eating once they have begun, other throw up as soon as food has touched their lips, and others even refuse to eat at all. But we all have one thing in common: the obsession with food. Whether over eater, bulimic or anorexic - we are all mentally constantly busy with food. We are always negotiating with ourselves new rules when, what, and how much to eat just to break these rules again. Then guilt and self-hatred become so strong that some think about commiting suicide.
Usually food addicts are functioning - they go to work and take care of their family but it is very hard for them to keep things going.
Food was my best friend. Food gave me warmth and security. Food gave me sensuality. I know it sounds paradoxical, because I hated myself and my body so much that I could bear no intimate relationship with a man - but when I binged, it was as if at last I could feel my body in a positive way.
Food comforted me. Eating connected me with friends. Food loved me. Food gave me safety when I was insecure and warmth when I felt lonely. The idea not to have my binges anymore meant death for me. What was life worth without my food? I would lose the only thing in my life that made me feel good. Because what else was there? I had no husband, no children, no family (except my mother). I had jobs but no calling. In short, deep inside, I believed that my life was not really worth living without overeating of my favorite dishes.
That's how I felt when I lived out my addiction.
But I have learned that there are ways to master this addiction.
For more than eight years I renounce the foods that trigger the greed that I just cannot control. Since I abstain from all flour and sugar products my obsession of food has disappeared.
Moreover, I have learned to find all the good feelings elsewhere that before only overeating could give me. Now I know how I can experience feelings of security, warmth, comfort and joy without having to pay with terrible self-hatred that always followed after binging on my favorite foods.
With this website, my blog, and my books I not only want to throw some light about the true nature of food addiction. I also want to show how overeating for us food addicts has become an emotional and spiritual crutch. But as soon as we let go of that crutch we can finally be able to begin to live a fulfilling life.
Even if I am free from my food cravings for quite a while now, I am sometimes still emotionally and mentally stuck. Only since I 'm not busy every second of my waking hours either thinking about food or beating me up for that I have eaten too much candy again, I can mature emotionally. I am still growing and maybe you would like to accompany me.
Come with me, and maybe you too will find your way to finally recover from this disease.